


Degaussing

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Background NozoEli, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are going well. So very, very well. Why is everyone always so concerned, though? Don't they understand how happy you are? Who cares, though: all that matters is that you have her, and you're happy with that. (Originally posted 10/20/15 by me on FFN)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Degaussing

Some would say that it's inappropriate to always have your headphones plugged firmly into your ears. Others might say that it's downright rude. You, on the other hand, feel differently. For you, it's the only way you can deal with the world. It's not that you mean to be rude, and you certainly don't consider yourself a rude person. Hell, you don't even walk around with your headphones in all the time. It just so happens that you are today, and people are giving you wayward looks in the store. Let them stare. It doesn't affect you either way.  
  
She points at an outfit, proclaiming proudly that you would look perfect in it. You roll your eyes, but you can't stop a small smile from gracing your lips. There's something about her that makes you want to simultaneously smile and shake her roughly. Today isn't so bad though. You're even flattered that she thinks the dress would look good on you. A light pink hue forms on your cheeks as you make a mild show of disagreeing, but she's insistent as always, and you find yourself giving in as always.  
  
Picking up the dress from its hanger, you carry it into the changing rooms, narrowing your eyes at her to make sure she stays put. Once you're alone inside, you remove your headphones, along with your outerwear. The music fades from your ears as you lay everything on the small bench, putting on the dress and modeling it in front of the mirror. She was right: it does look pretty good on you. If she really likes how it looks, then you would more than likely be interested in purchasing it. You stepped out of the changing room to gauge her reaction. With the way she looked at you, eyes alight with awe and passion, you could tell the reaction was definitely positive, so you bought the dress.  
  
Upon leaving the store, it was clear the vision of you in that dress hadn't left her mind, as she pushed you up against the closest wall and gave you a quick but deep kiss. Normally you would be red with embarrassment at such a public display, but you feel her desire running through your blood, and you allow yourself that one kiss. Her lips are cold, but you pay it no mind, as the mere action warms you up tremendously. You can't wait to wear the dress out somewhere with her.

* * *

  
Class is extremely boring without her. You used to find solace in your studies, but now it just seemed like a chore, hours of distraction keeping you from the one person you enjoyed being around more than anyone else. You consider texting her, but then you might get caught, and you don't want the class's attention on you, so you resist the temptation. Instead you try your hardest to pay attention, knowing that you need to get through this before you can race home to see her once more.  
  
Eli is worried about you. Then again, Eli has seemed more likely to worry since high school ended. You aren't sure the reason for it, but you've always had your suspicions that Nozomi had something to do with it. Being around Nozomi too much would make anyone worry. You wish that she'd be worried about a more obvious candidate, like Rin or Honoka, but it's you instead. She caught you between classes and looked you over, scrutinizing like something was bound to be wrong, and she just had to look hard enough.  
  
When you asked her what exactly she was doing, she deflected your question with one of her own: are you okay? You smile at her - you've gotten much better at putting on a more natural smile since high school - and tell her you are. Of course you're okay: why wouldn't you be? She doesn't seem convinced, which begins to bother you. This is admittedly not the first time this year someone has asked you this question, but you've been consistently fine. Hell, you've been better than ever lately. Have they not noticed? That's a bit annoying.  
  
She suggests that you, her, and Nozomi hang out later, but you hesitate. You really wanted to go home after classes were done and spend some quality time with her, but it has been awhile since you hung out with your seniors. Guilt tugs gently at your heart over the fact that you've been repeatedly blowing them off over the last several months to spend all your time with her. Maybe that's why Eli is always worrying.  
  
"Tomorrow, I promise." You're sure you can keep that promise, and it helps to assuage your guilt somewhat, even if Eli raises an eyebrow in disbelief. There isn't enough time for her to question you, though: you both have class soon, and neither of you want to be late. There's clear hesitance in her body language as she waves goodbye, but you pretend not to notice. After all, there's no need for her to worry, and you just hope that hanging out with her and Nozomi tomorrow will keep these kinds of questions at bay.

* * *

  
Arriving back home feels so good. Without the boring specter of class hovering around you, you're now free to shove your headphones back in and properly deal with the world around you. The soothing sounds of music bring a sense of serenity to your being, and when you see her in the kitchen, grabbing something to drink, your heart soars. You slip behind her and give her a soft kiss on the neck, just enjoying the fact that she's there. The way she says your name is so delicate yet so confident; it really is music to your ears.  
  
You don't even want to move, and she doesn't question why you just stand there with your arms wrapped around her, resting your head down on her shoulder. If you were really tired, you could imagine falling asleep like this, even while standing up. She just gives such a calming presence, something you would never have imagined when you two first met. This is something you wouldn't trade for the world.  
  
Eventually you break apart so that she can get to cooking dinner. That's still one thing she enjoys teasing you about: your complete lack of culinary skills. You pout and you cross your arms, but it's true: your kitchen expertise extends no further than proper microwave usage. That's fine with you, though: you love her cooking. It's what keeps you from having to eat out every night or, God forbid, learning to do it yourself.  
  
As you two dine, you mention that Eli expressed concern over... well, you don't actually know. She didn't really say, but there was definitely concern. Maybe just over you in general. It was probably just nothing, and you're glad when she chuckles softly and agrees with you. It feels good to know that at least someone doesn't believe she's incapable of handling her own life. You've got everything you ever wanted: a proper education, good friends, and her. She was the best thing you had, and after all these years, the best thing you ever did was confess to her how you felt. It was sorely overdue.

* * *

  
At this point, you were used to Eli worrying. If you were convincing enough, and you definitely felt like you were, you could put her off for awhile. Having Nozomi concerned, however, brought on a bout of indignation. You just couldn't escape it, could you? It was while you three were at lunch, just like you promised. The conversation was easy enough: about university, which classes were the easiest or the hardest. Nozomi went to a different university, so she made sure to fill you in on all the various escapades she got up to. It was eye-roll worthy, but still amusing.  
  
The conversation took a somewhat surprising turn, however, when you began to see the same look in Nozomi's eyes that you noticed in Eli's. When you questioned it, she merely asked if you were doing alright. Of course you were. That's what you told Eli, and one day wasn't going to completely change that. She seemed unsure, and you were surprised that you could see that. Nozomi was not one to wear her more melancholic emotions on her sleeve, so you didn't believe you'd be able to notice. Yet you could.  
  
Why was everyone sticking their nose in your business? You could feel yourself becoming closed off to the conversation, unable to chase away the sour expression on your face as your arms crossed firmly. There were only so many times you could tell someone you were alright before it became tedious. The rest of lunch was eaten in relative silence. It seemed like neither of them wanted to push you further, considering the mood you were in. Good. If being moody would make them leave you alone, then you would be moody.  
  
Before you all departed, Nozomi tried to gently press one last time. She suggested that, if you ever needed someone to talk to, her or Eli would always be happy to listen. You just nodded, not willing to commit, but not eager to continue being rude. While you were tired of them being nosy, you knew that they were just making sure you were alright, like any friend would, and it would no good to continue to be antagonistic towards them.  
  
As soon as you were left to walk home alone, you popped in your headphones and instantly felt a lot calmer. However, the music couldn't drown out the vibrations your phone was making, and a small hiss of annoyance left your lips as you grabbed your phone. Who in the world was calling you now? When you saw that it was her, you instantly felt better. Without really meaning to, you chatted with her all the way home.

* * *

  
Storm clouds rumbled ominously in the sky, darkening the day and sending people to premature exits from the outside world. The true storm, however, was forming in your mind as you stood at the door, eyes wide at the appearance of Rin and Nozomi. Whenever Nozomi was in the area, it was Eli whom she tended to meet, and Rin didn't go to university anywhere near here, so it was quite obvious that the two weren't here for mere pleasantries. You wanted to tell them you were busy, to come back another time, but you couldn't get yourself to, so you allowed them asylum.  
  
It started raining before any words were exchanged. The pattering of precipitation upon the windows was light at first, and you felt awkward being the recipient of their silent stares. Couldn't they look elsewhere? You had a nice house for them to gaze around at instead. It was Nozomi who broke the silence. "Maki-chan, I think we need to talk."  
  
You definitely were regretting allowing them entrance now. No conversation ever went well starting like that. Crossing your arms, you turned your head to stare at the wall, signifying your unwillingness to comply. They didn't seem to take that as means to desist, however, as Rin spoke next. "You're starting to worry everyone, Maki-chan. None of us have heard from you in weeks, and Eli-chan told me you always look like you're lost in your own world."  
  
That wasn't fair. You were busy with schoolwork. It wasn't your fault that your schedule wasn't as lax as Rin's or the others, and you certainly weren't lost. Everything except for how your friends were acting recently was going really well. You hated how this conversation was going. They didn't respect you enough to believe what you were saying. There was another presence then, and you realized that the sudden commotion had brought her out.  
  
A big smile suddenly appeared on your face as you stood up and went to her, ignoring the looks of confusion on your friends' faces. You took her hand in yours and squeezed it, just to feel the sensation upon your skin. She looked at Nozomi and Rin, asking you why you didn't tell her you were inviting them over. It wasn't exactly planned. Now they were standing up and walking towards you, concern clearly etched on their faces. That was never a good look.  
  
"Maki-chan, what are you doing?" You didn't like how they ignored her, but you bit your tongue, not wanting to start an argument. You just wanted them to leave. Their presence was uncomfortable, but hers brought warmth back into your body, and it helped to chase away some of the ill feelings nestled inside of you.  
  
Rin was now glaring at you, which was weird: you couldn't remember ever seeing her eyes narrow in such a way. "Are you even listening, Maki?" She dropped the honorific too; why was she being so serious? Of course you were listening.  
  
"It's not nice to listen to music while others are talking to you, Maki-chan." Your eyes widened as you noticed the uncomfortable glint in Nozomi's eyes, and your free hand - the one not occupied by hers - went up to touch the device wrapped around your ears. You wanted to deny her words, to huff indignantly that you could hear just fine, and that they needed to stay out of your business. Before you could say anything, Rin's arm shot out, and in a flash she had your headphones in her grasp. With a yank, she pulled them away from you.  
  
The sounds of _Magnetic Today_ filtered softly into the room. Your music player came out of your pocket without resistance, swinging dangerously above the ground, still attached to your headphones that now resided in Rin's care. Everything suddenly felt very cold: you were hyper-aware of every tiny noise, every tiny movement. You could feel the lack of pressure upon your shaking hand. When you looked down, there was nothing there. She was gone.  
  
"Nico-chan?" Your voice was the barest whisper, eyes frozen upon where she had been just a moment ago. The space was cold and empty, and you couldn't see where she had gone. Suddenly, you whipped around to face Rin, whose expression was one of concern and pity. Anger burned in your eyes as you went for her, grabbing for your headphones. "Rin! Give them back!" She had gotten taller over the last couple of years, allowing her to hold the object of your desire out of your reach. The cord dangled teasingly within reach, but you worried about a tug of war that could permanently damage them. You needed them now.  
  
You turned to Nozomi, as if she would call Rin off, but her eyes held the same expression, and you knew that there was no chance of that happening. "Nico-chan!" Without thinking, you whirled around and ran for your room, hoping beyond hope that she had decided to take shelter in there. The room was dark, and the sounds of pouring rain permeated the walls and reached your ears. You didn't want to hear that: you wanted to hear her, but she wasn't there. You began to throw the covers off of your bed, yanking open the closet doors and dropping to your knees to look beneath the bed. There was no reason for her to be there, but you had to check everywhere. She had to be somewhere.  
  
Running back into the living room, Nozomi and Rin were still there, but when you looked at Rin's hands, they were empty. Your headphones were nowhere to be seen. "Where are they?" Your voice shook as you spoke, moving menacingly towards them, but they just kept looking at you, those stares of unwanted pity searing through your aching heart. Why were they doing this to you? "Rin! Where are they?!"  
  
"Maki, you need to understand-" But you didn't want to understand. Without letting her finish, you ran at Rin and tackled her. While she may have had the advantage of strength, you held the advantage of surprise, and she let out a shocked cry as you both tumbled over, your hands grabbing and shaking her shoulders.  
  
"Give them back, Rin! Give them back!" She shielded her face as if expecting you to hit her, but suddenly you felt yourself being lifted up as Nozomi pulled you off of Rin and onto your feet. It was clear she meant to hold you still, but with strength you didn't know you possessed, you shrugged her off and ran back to where you had stood before, where she had been standing, where her hand had been holding yours.  
  
"Nico-chan!" You fell to your knees and started grasping at air, desperately trying to find any trace of her. "Nico-chan!" Thunder rocked the foundations, but your voice rose above the storm, anger and fear and grief dripping from every call of her name. No matter how loud you screamed, no matter how much you tried to piece her existence back together through the stagnant air, she didn't reappear. You were all alone. "NICO-CHAN!!!"

* * *

  
They wouldn't let you stay at home alone anymore. No matter how much you resisted, no matter how much of a fuss you put up, you were forced to stay with Eli for the 'foreseeable future'. Your friends came over more often, but you had never felt more lonely. Despite now having a mandatory roommate, you usually didn't exchange more than a handful of words. You didn't want to speak. Hell, you didn't want to do anything anymore.  
  
All of the noises that reached your ears made you feel deaf. It was another dreary weekend afternoon, but you refused to leave the couch, using your time to stare dully at the walls. Nothing could make you feel happy again. They had taken away from you the one thing you cherished above all else: they had taken her away. The fact that they were making you be in their presence was insulting, considering what they all did. Why wouldn't they just go away?  
  
It was on that familiar, dreary day that an idea suddenly popped into your head. Fumbling for the remote, you grabbed it and turned on the TV, making sure to lower the volume as you switched inputs. Eli's gaming console - used mostly to watch Netflix with Nozomi on weekends - whirred to life as you stared at the bright screen, hands shaking with anticipation. You held your breath, but you didn't dare hope that what you wanted would be there, lest you were crushed with disappointment.  
  
With the gaming controller in your hand, you flicked through the menus until you reached the YouTube app, opening it up and beginning to type in what you had been missing for too long. When it showed up on screen, your heart soared as you allowed yourself to fall head-first into hope. Clicking on the video, you could feel warmth bubbling inside your chest as the sounds of _Magnetic Today_ came quietly from the speakers.  
  
Tearing your eyes from the sight, you looked to your side on the couch, hoping against hope that she would be there. You thought your heart might burst with happiness when she was, her smile, radiant as always, taking your breath away. They had tried to take those ruby eyes away from you, those raven locks that you reached out and tentatively ran your fingers through, fearful that anything rougher would make her disappear again. Tears began to fall from your eyes as you enveloped her cold body in a tight hug, crying silently upon her shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry for leaving you like that, Maki." Her voice was the most beautiful song you had ever heard, a melodious sound that made your piano playing seem amateurish. Oh how you had missed it. "I love you, Maki." Your eyes stung as you couldn't stop crying, soaking her shirt with a deluge of tears, but she made no move to push you away, instead wrapping her slender arms around your body and pulling you closer. They wouldn't take her away from you. No matter how much they tried, you would always find your way back to her. She was yours, and you were hers: there was nothing in this world powerful enough to keep you away from her.  
  
"I love you too, Nico-chan."


End file.
